This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
