Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize