We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
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