Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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