It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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