I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
