Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I think people are normalizing furries
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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