just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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