well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
