My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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