I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
