Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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