there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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