we have officially lost it.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
