just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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