I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
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