Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
