Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
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