piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
