also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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