I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
