i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
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I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
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A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
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