you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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