They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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