he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I just had sex on a roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize