oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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