Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Randomize