I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize