are you still at the devil's house?
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
