its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Blood and glitter go together right?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
