we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
