You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
