Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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