Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
