before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
barbara walters just said penis...
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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