i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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