Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
