oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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