I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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