Fuck appropriateness.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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