he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
did i walk over a car last night?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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