he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
