Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
