i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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