not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
No subtext here. People are naked.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize