i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
