They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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