ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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