i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'm too high and old for this...
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
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