drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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