I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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