Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
