I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
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