He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
