Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize