It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
