you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
