I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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