I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
