i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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